Sunday, January 31, 2010

This Is The End

"It's the first day of spring
And my life is starting over again
The trees grow, the river flows
And its water will wash away my sins
For I do believe that everyone has one chance
To fuck up their lives
But like a cut down tree, I will rise again
And I'll be bigger and stronger than ever before"
~Noah And The Whale, The First Day of Spring

I have come to a time in my life where I am needing to take inventory of myself and others. I love who I am; I love that I am quirky as hell and weird... I love that most people don't get me. There are a select few people that do get me and they are some of the most amazing people.

One of those few people is not going to be as accessible in a couple weeks. I was honored to work w/ someone who became a very good friend, confidant, and mentor. She helped me see that it is OK to be who I really am. She was supportive and challenged me when necessary. There have been very few that have made this much of an impact on me and I am a bit beside myself that she is leaving. But it seems like these diamonds in the rough are here only for a fleeting moment and then gone.

It does make me realize that I need to make some changes and connect more or reconnect w/ people. One of the changes I have been toying w/ for a long time has been college. I have made the decision to go back to college over and over again w/o actually doing anything about it for about a year now. I have a bad history w/ college, you see we have this cat and mouse game we play. I am a cat in the beginning beating the mouse to a pulp and then somehow the roles reverse (I give up) and the cat becomes the mouse. That is where the hesitation comes into play. But it is time for me to move on from the failures of the past. So here it goes. The end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one.